Could a man please explain to me why you all find it so hard to simply board a train and sit the fuck down in a non dramatic fashion without getting in literally everybody else's way.

Seriously tho, who do I need to kill to get Chappell Roan tickets?

Oh mate. I can't believe how tone deaf that Olly Alexander interview is in yesterday's Times. What the heck was he thinking.

Telling my kids this was Challengers.

If George Galloway doesn't want his young kids to be taught that gay relationships are normal, then he also ought to let them know how normal it for their mum to be two years younger than his first child and for him to impregnating women at 65 years of age. Stupid twat.

I'm going to see Challengers tonight.

Current mood. Thank you Liverpool F.C. You will never walk alone as far as I'm concerned. Matt Beard for London Mayor

Cute little day out in Bristol for the pure evil 6.45pm WSL kick off slot.

Nightmare blunt rotation

New standard set for contract announcement vids. 10/10. V cute. Will watch again.

Treated myself to a Tekla bath towel

My dog just caught a pigeon right before my eyes

I actually think this is a really weird thing for Richard Gadd to say as besides from changing her name it doesn't really look like anyone went to much effort to hide her real identity at all.

Can't believe Taylor Swift is Martha from Baby Reindeer.

When Saint George's Day clashes with Lesbian Visibility Week this is the George everyone is actually talking about.

Taylor Swift went legal on someone for reposting the publicly available info on the movements of her private jet. But then sang about tracking the movements of the man she dumped on her phone. I'm sorry you can't do both.

City v Coventry final. A sky blue derby.

Sorry but if you're spending one hundred million on your team and putting 10 behind the ball then you're not one bit well.

Find someone who loves you as much as Taylor Swift loves saying 'declared' instead of 'said' in her lyrics.

V excited for Cole Palmer to score a hat trick (of penalties) shortly and everyone declare that City made a mistake in deciding to not finish mid table and build their entire team around him 🥶