I like cats and I like old dogs but puppies need to chill the fuck out

Alarming realization that groundhogs are in no way hog

If the hardcore band’s vocalist doesn’t look like a total delinquent ogre, they’re not heavy enough

Oh sorry don’t mind him, that’s just my seeing ass dog

Please do not call me a “consumer” I do not want to be a “consumer”

Anyone else’s brain feel mushy at the end of a long day of looking at screen

Hate it when someone just blasts the AC regardless of the weather. Acclimate to your climate bitch

Love to talk about what “u just gotta do” with the boys. Love to hear what routine works best for my boys

all you needed in the good old days to be a 'tattoo guy' was just one small dragon or dagger on bicep. just the one

Skin’ead o connor

“A rando is just a friend you haven’t met yet”

Straight edge band called bar none

The hot tub is the sexiest body of water

I have no case on my phone because I do not respect it. It is an evil device

Encores are so lame, like “Ok I’m done now……haha…..unless?” Shut up

Just completed my first triathlon (20 minute walk -> hour train ride -> 5 minute citi bike to work)

Getting better at sleeping on my back & im soo proud of myself

Yeah I’m a union buster - busting at the mere thought of a union