Started my Invisalign course yesterday and basically kids where your retainers after braces cause my god my mouth hurts 🤣

Dougie: I eat you all up in my tummy. “Noooo” said the pasta

😂😂😂😂

Toddlers… raised my voice at Dougie. He got upset and then said:

Mummy say sorry loudly like you mean it.

😂😂😂😂

I have to go pick Dougie up from nursery soon but I’m also exhausted and could do without solo parenting tonight. Someone tell my husband work trips aren’t allowed unless it’s me going on them xox

Top tip for not getting a job: don’t click apply on a job on LinkedIn 2 minutes after it goes live because you won’t get it as you haven’t taken the time to research the company 🫣

Not me in floods of tears at the groom singing wonder wall to his wife at the wedding im at 😭😭😭

It’s officially wedding season and we have our first wedding to attend today, so tell me why my husband decided today was the day to find his suit… 🙄

My back is turned and I hear Dougie talking. Turns out he called his grandad 😂😂😂😂 since when did Doug work that out

A conversation with my twonager

Dougie: I’m not happy, I’m sad

Me: oh no let’s make you happy

Dougie: no mummy I want to be sad

And the toddler is potty trained 💪💪💪 one week of hard work and he won’t go anywhere else 🎉🎉🎉

Dougie: I want Thomas.

Me: well CBeebies don’t own the rights to Thomas so it’s Peter rabbit.

Dougie: call them and tell them I want Thomas.

CBeebies Grown-Ups 🎉 you’ve been told by a twonager

For weeks I’ve been saying to Tim “I need to book an eye test” because I was sure I was due one and my eyes are playing up. Well specsavers are ON IT cause they sent me a letter and I got an appointment same day 🎉🎉🎉

Finally booked our holiday in May. A return to the lakes ❤️

I’m so glad we garden because it’s a good way to distract the toddler who has dropped his nap 🫣

I want to know who gave me this bug I currently have because I am not happy with them. Slept pretty much all day and had to return to bed at 8pm. Got a fever so bad I feel frozen but so hot. Can’t speak. And throw up when I cough.

Like come onnnnn.

My next door neighbours are partying still at 3am… I cannot wait to bang pots early in the morning, and do a bit of hammering outside 🙃

The development of children is mad. Last week Dougie was only drawing scribbles. This week he drew this… a bee. How in a week can this development happen 😱

I know the ending of One Day, yet I still tortured myself by watching it