At 20 pop ups per month, Alex Bregman is on pace to hit 140 pop ups. Bregman has more pop ups than:

Hits
RBIs
HRs
Edible jars of salsa
Altuve TOOTBLANS
Yordan 3 straight K ABs

He has also left almost 40 stranded runners. He strands more guys than an army defector

Who else should be hitting 2nd for the Astros while Bregman’s head is stuck up his culo?

Gonna finish Men. Interesting they arrest some naked dude early in the film and nothing is really done. I do this I getta restraining order and have to go to monthly meetings with a shrink

Well, if Altuve woulda been up, he walks and we end the game onna Bregman pop up

I didn’t miss the irony of Caratini taking the bat outta Altuve’s hands there by committing an egregious baserunning blunder

April walk offs bring May doldrums

Overall: 10-20

Home: 5-10

In extras: 1-4

1 run games: 1-8

When opponent scores first: 3-13

In May: 0-1

The game after scoring 10: 1-3

Night: 7-14

Home whites: 3-5

On Verlander days: 1-2

On Wed: 1-4

v AL Central 1-4

Baseball is stupid

Since I’m watching the CLE broadcast they just had a Columbus Blue Jackets commercial. Now that propaganda right there was worse than the Astros front office talkin bout back of baseball cards. They suck!

JRam pulling a Yordan there. Prime fastball and was like, naw lettem cook

Did I mention fuck Bregman?

Thanks for being ready, Dubin. And Miller, you suck too

Shoulda used Seth Martinez

Kwan has to have a 500 batting avg against us lifetime

This is what happens when we strand runners.

Astros pitching staff walks tracker

Total: 116
(I wonder how many are leadoff walks?)

Top 5:
Javier: 12
Brown: 14
Blanco: 14
France: 12
Abreu: 10

That Naylor play at 1B looked a little dainty

The Official Should We Sign Bregman Tracker

Ks: 15
Fly Balls: 12
With RISP: 8-26
Pop Ups: 21
Hits: 17
FC: 1
LOB: 37
SAC Fly: 1
RBI: 10
Dongs: 1
Weak grounders: 20
Errors: 1
XBH with no on base: 2

Doobie Double! Make it a burger at Sonic you cowards!

Finally retired Kwan. That kid can hit