Lol… you thought I was eating smoothpaste. Nope, it was the Sludge Mysterious.

i bet this sucks i can’t wait

it’s my little birthday today

You: *pronounces Bon Iver as it's written*

Most annoying guy you know, barely able to conceal his delight: what did you just say

if your middle school boyfriend didn't later come out as gay then you are not chic.... you failed the glamor test....

many of u thinking u would be a greathelm while giving off strong kettle hat vibes

Long hair really is annoying - I always have it up so it might as well be short but when I do have it down its sole purpose is getting tangled and making my neck too hot. Of course straight men tend to prefer it they love trophies that symbolize wasting inordinate amounts of time

my bf went to visit his dad today and i spent like 8 hours just fully locked in with the dab pen and bg3 in his absence. astarion’s my bf now

late night yap sesh with a bestie is such a powerful panacea tbh. yes girl talk that absolute bullshit to me i’m healing

crush: *showing me pictures of her family* look at my mom when she was 20 omg she slayed

me: *trying to use gay slang so she’ll sleep with me later* yeah she looks like a cunt

i don’t think it’s good that they are doing zodiac phrenology now lol

nice cock dumbass where'd u get it the delicious store? hm? the yummy store?

it’s very interesting pinpointing the exact moment you’ve been studying too long and simply can’t learn anything else until you stand up and walk around and look at your phone for a bit. i feel like a sim

i don’t think i can do accents as a DM. been practicing for an upcoming campaign and all my npcs sound like they’re simultaneously from south america and the balkans