Lois Lane: 'Lex Luthor is going to be at the illegal digital currency forum this evening, you've got to stop him...' Superman: 'No can do Lois, I'm powerless against Crypto night...' #LunchPun

I have tears in my eyes having heard the news that Sky Kids will no longer be commissioning Kids media content. Why can’t people understand the importance of providing quality UK made relevant content for kids, cos childhood lasts a lifetime 🥲

I'd divorce my husband just for attending a Coldplay concert

Arson I've got a real flare for it #LunchPun

Them: That new bloke, Libut - he's really strange... Me: I know right? I guess he's just built different... #sillysaturday

We're so sorry to report that Charles Augins has passed away, aged 81. Not just one of, but *the* best guest actor #RedDwarf ever had. ganymede.tv/2025/07/charle…

I've just finished reading 'The Farm' by Old Mcdonald, and I can tell you its a real ee-i-ee-eye-opener... #LunchPun

Pizza costing £25.99 👍🏽

There was trouble at the National Mauve Convention earlier today when a peaceful protest turned violet... #LunchPun

R.I.P Ozzy Osbourne 76 Will never be another quite like you You made that final gig and £140 million for charity

War Pigs Generals gathered in their masses Just like witches at black masses Evil minds that plot destruction Sorcerer of death's construction In the fields, the bodies burning As the war machine keeps turning Death and hatred to mankind Poisoning their brainwashed minds Oh,

King Charles got tired of walking around his massive Highgrove estate, so he got himself a nobility scooter... #LunchPun

Antisemitism used to be when you denied a holocaust. Now it's when you don't support one

There are downsides to being an armchair critic... Like being banned forr life from DFS... #LunchPun

Chief Inspector: Any word on those stolen trainers? Me: Not yet, but I've put some Fila's out... #LunchPun

Where do lions do their shopping? At the maul. #sidesplittingsunday

I always take my problems to Tommy. Hilfiger something out

'The elephant in the room was quickly brushed under the carpet...' #LunchPun

Crazy that the Jurassic Park was so good at making dinosaurs but so bad at making fences. Like, of the two, fences are much easier.

The new Ultravox album is so raunchy that it's suggested for Midge Ure listeners only... #LunchPun