Oh. So when she does it it's news. But when I do it I'm asked to leave that John Lewis furniture department.

A Dolan and an Allen. It's like Headliners back in the day.

This is less gripping than the ITV version.

The PR for Ant & Dec's new show is a bit much.

I am many things but I'm definitely happy with this headline.

Everyone is having a go at #BritneySpears for this video but we've all done this when we forget to put conditioner in the wash.

For those seeking clarity on Huw Edwards, here's an explainer from someone who would probably should take Hue's old job

Coming this Thursday! An awesome lineup at The White Hart in Southwark White Hart Southwark Tickets are selling fast - get yours at jokepit.com/comedy-in/lond…

I'm just watching #RebelMoonTheScargiver . I know Zack Snyder loves some slow-mo but if there could be a version where everything runs at normal speed I could get this watched in about 30 mins and get on with my day.

A clip from last week but it's still #TorySleaze so it's still topical.

Just to prove you can still do one-liners even when not introducing the news. #NewsAtTen I'm ready. #Headliners

#LauraTrott : 'But officer, my rate of acceleration was coming down. Why am I getting a speeding ticket?'

Column: He’s 111 and he’s talking more sense than most stories about people living to an old age Steve N Allen hucknalldispatch.co.uk/news/opinion/c…

It's been quite a good week but I just got back from tonight's gig to find I've got a refund from Thameslink's delay repay. The best £4 I'll ever have.

Wow. What are the odds? A man buying a salad!?

Here's one of my newspaper columns from this week. The World's Oldest Man is a Brit. Maybe we ain't so unhealthy after all.

Here's the final #podcast of the week. Feel free to have a listen and leave a 5-star review whether you think it's deserved or not
Thanking you.
podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/pic…

They're coming for our stamps. ✉️

Some #standupcomedy for ya...
Live at The White Hart Southwark April with Steve N Allen as Headliner jokepit.com/comedy-in/lond… #jokepit via @promotecomedy