You know when you’re driving and you have to stop to let a funeral procession pass and you think “ugh this is inconvenient for me” and then you spend the next hour trying to convince yourself you didn’t think that

I'm not like a regular mom, I- oh wait never mind, I just opened a bunch of windows and said 'This will create a nice cross breeze'

What are we, as a society, even doing

I am really loving Kristen Mulrooney ‘s funny and insightful column about motherhood, and if you aren’t reading it you should be!

POV you’re sitting in a chair holding your computer so there’s no room in your lap for a 50 pound dog and the 50 pound dog is not happy and he wants you to know it.

Going to hibachi for dinner so the family is getting ready and when I say “the family is getting ready” I mean we are throwing mini marshmallows at each other from across the room to practice catching food in our mouths

I get so annoyed on Mother’s Day when the baseball teams wear pink. There are better ways to honor moms, like use a Rae Dunn font on the jersey or something.

Happy Mother’s Day, if your entire household would crash and burn without you throw your hands up 🙌

My son burst into the house, did not say hi but did say “When a turkey vulture eats decaying flesh it doesn’t get sick,” and ran upstairs to play video games. Happy to have had that interaction with him.

4-year-old playing doctor with her dolls: This baby needs a wheelchair.

Me: Why?

4-year-old: She ate too much cake.

My favorite thing about having kids is watching a 4-year-old girl bully my husband

'Sorry if I'm coming off a little bit suspicious here, but I can't figure you out, Mrs. Pike. You have eight kids between the ages of five and eleven, and you're so relaxed about it in a way I cannot relate to.'

A new Letter to Mom by Kristen Mulrooney.
mcsweeneys.net/articles/a-let…

Inside you there are two wolves but also outside you