Raise your paws if you don't have to appear in criminal court tomorrow for election interference.

That is, officially, the most terrifying picture of Halsey ever taken.

I fucking knew it.

I have no idea what to do with this comic.

My son referred to grease on pizza as “pizza gravy” & idk what to do with this information now.

good tailoring allows for movement

You flip a coin 200 times. The first 100 flips, it lands on heads; the second 100, on tails. As a proud Bayesian, you conclude you are most likely in the middle of a logic puzzle.

Finally, the animal that was foretold in the engineering practice problem

I see we’re doing the old “‘Give way I’m an aircraft carrier’ ‘I’m a lighthouse’” gag for real now

We’re currently fostering the world’s most criminal cat and this is a thread of his various exploits over the last month.

I loaded a new ink ribbon on my old typewriter so I can use it! But some help... Where is the 1 key???

I will have to charge for this vandalism .... some potential tenants of this furnished apartment have taken a dislike to some of the decorations. Instead of letting me know, they decided to remove it themselves! 😱😯
#GwylltHollow

New Crow Time 🪶💀 [1/5]

Apparently it’s #PetDay , so I should acknowledge my PhD research assistant. She’s a great listener, and I really appreciate not feeling like I’m talking to myself all the time. Her solution of ‘let’s go for a walk’ has a high success rate for sorting my thoughts out. She’s great.

alice 🦀🏴 pros:
-we're renting
-its structurally intact
-we'll recognize termite activity in future
-swarming seems mostly done
-they don't infest ur stuff like bedbugs. bowtie collection is safe

cons:
-Their disrespect
-the hole they're coming out of is in the shower. goodbye showering

Rare, but real.

crystals 🔮