Perhaps the Ministry of Defence shouldn't pay people via WhatsApp 🤣 #ChinaHack

I posted many Tweets ago that if Putin was losing Ukraine he'd use his tactical nukes, he's not losing but now he's rattling them as a threat, calm TF down mate.

This concept is quickly losing its message 🤣

OK people can we find the person responsible for these stickers, it's not cool and was placed at a gate post where people have to pass it 😏

I went into the woods today, full of women and bears. No idea what that's about.

I never understood the last 5 mins of Saving private Ryan. Did Captain Miller lose so much blood that he thought Ryan was some guy named Ernest? Just too weird for me.

“So after being given £3k and a ticket to Rwanda, I visited mum in Kigali and then flew back to London - which was nice”

Yet another year I have failed to win the Belfast City Marathon 😥

It's been a great couple of days politically, now to enjoy the Tories eating their own and gaslighting the public that the local elections weren't that bad 🤣 #GeneralElectionlNow #ToryWipeout

I'm gay but finding out Michael Fabricant and Andy Street are partners is enough to make me feel homophobic

19% won Khan for the mayor of London as being a knife edge but 3% win for Brexit was the will of the ppl #ToxicBritishPress

Final result.
3.2% swing to Labour.

Angela Rayner on Star Wars Day

#angelarayner #RishiSunak #StarWars Day #Maythe4thBeWithYou #StarWars

If it hadn't been for all those people voting for Sadiq Khan, I reckon Susan Hall could have won. #Details

Susan Hall steadies herself in disbelief that London did not vote for cray this time. Have Londoners really become this self-aware since voting for Boris ... guv? #ToryWipeout

But, but the rumours Andrew Pierce was this just a wet dream lie? Why did you get my hopes up before the counting even began? ... stop peddling shite and lies dude #GeneralElectionlNow #ToryWipeout

All love for Count Binface for proving the utter disgust at fascism. #LondonMayoralElection

Life is short, you just never know. If my eulogy says I died with one in the chamber I don't think my soul would ever be at peace 🤣

Starmer wins:
The General election
£60 mil on the lottery
MTV's best kiss award
The FA cup

The Media: A disappointing result for Labour, they have so much work to do. Now Reform is another matter, they found 10p down the back of their sofa.