My cousin got mistaken for being Polish because he doesn’t go out in the sun and has a lot of Ks in his last name. Grandmas speak to me in Farsi on the bus. My brother was swept into a Mexican karaoke circuit because he has a vague sense of latino swag. We’re all indian
one of my fantasies is to operate a submarine library and service remote islands in the pacific and violently torpedo lenders who don’t return their books on time
I will never forgive elon musk for saying he’s going to build an expansive tunnel system across california and then never doing it because some of us are serious about bunkers tunnels and life underground in general
between the years 1947-1965, the CIA spent 780 billion dollars trying to get its enemies to walk down a narrow lane that they could roll a huge boulder down before other more advanced assassination techniques were developed
I asked my dad’s buddy why he’s so well read and laid back and just chilling all day he told me the SEC banned him from ever working for a publicly traded company again
In the future when they build the space elevator the operator will have the same prestige as an bank executive or a drug kingpin.Harvard and Yale graduates will be falling over themselves to be the elevator guy. Teens grow up with elevator posters on the wall
I like to play a game called Night Walk Until Something Happens. Day before yesterday, I lost when I heard a neighborhood Polish man scream kurwaaaaaaaa at the top of his lungs. Yesterday, I lost when I overheard two cats exchange stock tips. Tonight I think I might get mugged