Beep beep bitch

Kind of wild how many elections there have been during the covid era

The KG promise is: if I ever get rich and famous, I will not become a sex trafficker. I’m mostly going to buy a pellet ice machine and a pizza oven and probably an extremely expensive stereo

We’re gonna need a bigger crucifix

Schrödinger’s jerk

How your email finds me

Dating tip: please don’t look someone up on LinkedIn, then find out their home email address and email them to hit on them!

Happy Birthday to this mom lovin lil bitch

Oh my god

Justice Pickelheimer United States Census, 1940

Americans have been more surprised by this than I was expecting. I mean I don’t drink sugary soda but I’d crush a 44 ounce iced tea any day of the week lol

My neighbor is playing Billie Eilish and the dog is listening SO INTENTLY

Nobody thinks about jail conditions until a rich person has to go there. I can think of a really simple solution to this problem

Do they know we would settle for no phones, people shutting the fuck up and sitting still?

How did Bill Gates get a TV show

Whispering “…and they were roommates” into the dog’s ear

Ok give it a rest