live, laugh, lord of the rings

When you get paid biweekly:

Week 1: Week 2:

'rip to ur grandma but im different' has permanently altered the way I think at a fundamental level

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This sounds pretentious but is genuinely good advice:

When your kids are born, forge in secret a master ring to control all others. By the time they're 20, they'll have One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them, One Ring to bring them all, and in the darkness bind them.

'Who wants to go to the Four Seasons Rivendell?'

The only correct answer, actually

Kamala Harris has been cast in season 2 of 'Andor'

GANDALF: 'If in doubt, Meriadoc, always follow your nose!*

*Gandalf levitates and starts to float forward like a cartoon character smelling a pie on a windowsill*

Not all who wander are lost but I sure as hell am

going into the three day weekend like Bilbo (thin, sort of stretched, like butter scraped over too much bread)

[youth pastor voice] you know who else took a holiday three day weekend off?