As a comedian you HAVE to do those random small town gigs cos you never know what connections you're gonna make

Countryside people are NOT friendly 😡

When im super rich I’m gonna get an iPhone charger for every socket in my bedsit.

Countryside people are NOT friendly 😡

Not for bozos

Feel like I've lead a pretty full life but I've never seen a woman walking down the street whistling

My agent said it’s probably not good for my career to make up imaginary people.

Little bit about growing up

Narrator : you awake in a darkened room there's a .

Me [interrupting] sounds great I'll stay here

Narrator : you awake in a darkened room there's a .

Me [interrupting] sounds great I'll stay here

Little bit about growing up

I admit it. I used Napster when I was younger. But even back then I knew that art is for everyone, no matter how much money they have, and I HAD to hear that new Crazy Frog single.

I admit it. I used Napster when I was younger. But even back then I knew that art is for everyone, no matter how much money they have, and I HAD to hear that new Crazy Frog single.

Shit’s really gonna hit the fan now middle class people are affected.

No Country for Ogre Men

Walking into a busy gents toilet and not saying “oop! Cozy!”

God put pigeons on earth to give toddlers something to chase prayer emoji send tweet

Would have posted this yesterday but I stayed up all night getting the skin tone to match

Just wanna meet someone who will listen to Cocteau Twins with me in a separate dark room and talk about how great it would be to share the experience.

Feels strange to be in a library in Brighton and see a book about my hometown