sth like this has been my default view for a long time -- basically that I have a lot to pass on to the world that comes after me,

but that my genetics and parenting ability are not among those things,, i feel called elsewhere, just like countless countless others in my lineage…

I think awareness is a great solvent because it turns the hindrances into just more sense impressions

Felt good enough to get intentional exercise for the first time in a month today, decided to go with elliptical because I need to have enough energy to fix some stuff around the house this evening

Despite appearances my screen name is not a Robert Bloch reference but a recognition of my almost supernatural ability to open weird packaging

It is not only possible but desirable to feel tender, nurturing, protective love for yourself. But here’s the twist:don’t just feel it from the perspective of the part that’s giving the love. You have to feel it as the soft, vulnerable part that needs it too

I appear to have an anhedonic treadmill. Regular exposure to pleasure increases my capacity to enjoy it, while anything that looks like a dopamine fast decreases it to the point where infrequent intense pleasure is muted compared to frequent mild pleasure

Kitty

voice chatting about version control with a viet cong venture capitalist at vibecamp

Life hack:use separate blankets when sleeping in the same bed as your partner. That way no one steals the blanket and you can adjust for temperature preferences but still snuggle when you want to

What if free will exists but as a property of the meat, not the spirit? What if consciousness only gets the illusion of free will because it identifies so closely with the body through emotions? What if emotions are what actually binds them together?

yes my openness and warmth and stringent belief that people are inherently good will inevitably lead to my kindness being taken advantage of from time to time. so what? i priced that in.

Tired:doing crunches to get rock-hard abs
Wired: doing crunches for vagus stimulation and to poop better

Had my cat for a year and a half and while she enjoys frequent pets and scritches she always wants play or treats instead after a few minutes and she’s never been genuinely snuggly. That has changed in the last 24 hours and I think it might be my deodorant