Hiring a van this weekend to move some of the big stuff to the new house. Love driving a big van. Feel like I have to get a jazz mag and a pasty to leave on the dashboard

Dr No job

3 years since we got Pablo. 😽

Was in the office toilets, washing my hands I heard what can only be described as an Angry shit. I quickly left but am now spending the rest of my working day figuring out who it was.

Weird threat

That bloke putting the fuel pump up his arse whilst playing with himself. He's clearly not well. Looks like he's using the unleaded pump instead of diesel

I’ve seen the video shared numerous times on the timeline today and if you can’t masturbate with a gas pump up your ass in public without being recorded then we’re failing as a society. Let the man live his life

This house seems like great value. It’s worth scrolling down to the final photo to find out why. rightmove.co.uk/properties/147…

Not the best Bergerac episode

A large part of my job is reviewing how liquidated companies spent their bounce back loan money and if they carried on trading after claiming furlough payments. Some of the excuses / reasons are just brilliant. Some are just shit liars

Came home from work and plumbed in the dishwasher and washing machine

Looks like the team of detectives who arrested the Yorkshire Ripper taking a photo with him before they charged him and banged him up.

No. Just no. Shoebills just need to behave.

Found this and thought it was for a toy car, but it's some weird drone thing

Moved loads of stuff today. Tired now so I'm stopping and having a Chinese takeaway of hope

Moving house in the warm weather isn't the wisest idea I've had

Not now ELINOR

Just been to say goodbye to my mum and my sister, they're moving to Portugal tomorrow. That was hard.

On the plus side, free holidays in the future