See how good your eurovision is when I give you a eurowallop

Country needs back Boris Johnson

Shirts off, down to business.

There's nothing you can do Alan Musk. You can't bring my Maureen back from the dead can you? Fuck off with your world wide web letter

Fuck off it's 47

Back home now Arthur and daughter came to get me. Having a pint and pot noodle

Life been pointless since my Maureen kicked the bucket. Time to kill myself goodbye cheers bob

Not in town at the trophy parade too much modern music and too many spastics. Cheers bob

Looks like the city going back to the First Division. Players on £3,000 a week, flash cars, quiffy hair nancyboy haircuts, weird kick off times, foreign players, more tipi tapi football, pink boots, no big man/little man combination up front. I'd rather stay down. Cheers bob

So do I

Just left Filbert Street fucking disgusting performance. Should have shut up shop after the first now it's five nil. Fucking disgrace.

Tried suicide many times but never gone all the way. I'll probably live to a hundred knowing my luck.

Leeds 3-2 up. Reckless defending, modern football is a fucking disgrace. Footballers more interested in scoring goals than good defending.

Retired Prime Minister Liz Truss out at a party with her daughter last night. She made a balls up of her dream job but she's not let it get her down. Fair play that's the British stiff upper lip in action. Cheers bob

Nags Head car park

Great stuff, innocent times before the rainbow was stolen by the gender fluids.

Means Patson Daka to start then. Bloody hell.

I'll be voting Reform Richard Sunak has lost me over the boats Conservative Party @richardsunak Reform UK

If you heard a man shout 'clear your lines' 447 times yesterday that was me.