im like 'am i annoying?' and then pull this shit

babe, wake up! new bears in trees tour merch just dropped

MILF Manor? No thanks. We need a show called Dad Island. No sex stuff or anything. Just ten dads on an island getting to know each other. It doesn't even have to be on an island

do u think they explored eachothers bodies ?

i love that digital footprints dont exist on twitter (they very much do i am in denial and have no awareness or concern for the consequences of the things i say)

i hate when people correct my grammar. sure i may have used the wrong your/you're but that doesnt change the fact that you're going to regret ever saying that makka pakka is the worst character from in the night garden, that spot is reserved for upsy daisy i hate that bitch

no babe dont worry no one can tell you are severely unwell! you seem so normal!

meds arent enough i need a lobotomy and a course of severe electroshock therapy

the way i wouldve 100% been diagnosed with female hysteria 100 years ago is really cunt to me and idk why

hey guys! just told my psychiatrist that i see little ghosty shadow hands around my bed! anyways, ill see u all in 6+ weeks !

i love tone indicators but sometimes we all know ur joking. dont worry bae i know u dont really want to rip your own eyelids off and cook them up into a tasty little snack after seeing a picture of gordon ramsey in a dress

that awkward moment when ur fav twitter p0rn account has twitter for android below it (i am using my samsung smart fridge to use twitter)

i go through phases where i do not use twitter ever and sometimes i just use it loads but recently ive had an insatiable urge to tweet every single slightly coherent thought i have and right now i want to have a nice little bath in purely bubble bath. no water.

i think im in denial about the fact that i very much might be an ipad kid. i love mobile games and pasta.

ive devised a clever little system when i finish a can of beverage, i turn it so the mouth bit is away from me so i can never ever ever mix up the worthless empty cans with the gorgeous pretty stunning full cans <3

hi twitter i am filled with delusions and anger and im ready to create some hit tweets

i do have to admit i am a huge fan of this fella right here

he is one (1) litter bag tall

i love twenty one pilots