threads.net/@atpburke

RIP Alan Arkin. One of the best to ever do it. Effortlessly hilarious, charming, maddening, and just the most Alan Arkinest person to have ever graced the screen. Serpentine, Shel. Serpentine.

Hey I've started a substack to collect some of the nonsense I've written and posted on social media over the year. Kicking it off with a bit of politico/vaudeville crossover from 7 years ago. Hope you like it, and if so give me a subscribe!

aburke.substack.com/p/marx-a-lago-…

What do you think they're dangling in front of Waltine Nauta to take the fall for all this right now? It being Trump, I bet it's something laughably low-ball, like free golf lessons at Mar-a-Lago or some shit.

Peoria! I'm in your town! Come see me tonight! Two shows 7 & 9 pm
jukeboxcomedy.com/events/76668

I don't know much about Walt Nauta but I DO know he's terrible at writing haiku:

The Trump Indictment photos are my favorite thing Frank Miller's ever done.

'Having a t-shirt with a pro-LGBTQ+ message on it isn't 'ramming an agenda down your throat.' Believe me, I should know.'

-a foie gras goose, yesterday.

People harp on about how this is becoming a socialist country but remember Elizabeth Holmes just started doing more time for defrauding billionaires than certain police officers are doing/have done for killing innocent civilians. #protectthemoney

This was so much fun; thanks so much to Negin Farsad for being such an excellent and fun host and for gabrus🚽 for being such a great co-guest. Cheers to all at Headgum podcasts.

This ad would have been better written, but, ya know...

The country of Latvia has many rocks, pebbles, and bits of gravel, but its neighbor to the north Estonia.

Sweden running away with this. Fix is in.
#Eurovision2023

Is this UK song supposed to sound like the track is skipping? If not, fair play to this singer for powering through.

#Eurovision2023

I wish there was a bit more Let 3 batshitness throughout the whole thing.

#Eurovision2023

Turns out 'Carpe Diem' is Slovenian for 'One Direction.'

#Eurovision2023

German keyboardist has so many keyboards, even his guitar is a keyboard! His teeth are a harpsichord! His penis is a Moog!

#Eurovision2023

I gotta say, if Perth was a band, well this would be it. #Australia #itsokimfromPerth #Eurovision2023

Also you know that 'who would you invite to dinner' question? Can I add whoever choreographed the Finnish entry for #Eurovision2023