Could Kyren Wilson be the first man without earlobes to win the world championship?

When I’m down the pub, pint in one hand, drill in the other, shitting on my mate’s head for banter, missing my daughter’s birthday party again.

When your boss asks why you’re late in on a Friday

This is no slight on him but I feel like if Jak Jones somehow wins the snooker world championships then there’s still a chance for me to do the same.

Worry there are no new Hazel Irvines coming through the ranks.

About fifteen years ago I was interviewed by Kelvin Mackenzie and he said if I ever needed anything I should let him know. Always wondered what that thing might be and when to cash it in.

If her day wasn't bad enough already, Susan Hall's just had her wallet stolen again. Ooh, no, hang on. No it's in her other pocket.

Man who blames everything in his life on Sadiq Khan.

Shaun Murphy's commentary career is all about leaving the tournament early and then spending the rest of the week talking about how bad the players who are still in it are.

Shhhhh.

And I just won three games of pool!