me still typing all the captions to my stand up clips by hand

why do they have to say your full job in the intro

having done stand up for over 15 years I have random PTSD from gigs I’ve bombed.
sometimes I’ll remember one and let out a quiet sigh then my wife will ask what I’m thinking about and I’ll say
“a legion hall 3 hours north of Toronto”

Happy 420

broke a personal record and said cum 29 times in the first 3 minutes of my set tonight

ME COMPLETELY UNPROMPTED AT A BUSY BUS STOP:
'the biggest loudest piss I ever took? I'm glad you asked'

The scammer was for sure a guy that wanted revenge for getting JFL gagged by a cop wearing lingerie

Opening for Randy Feltface at Brea Improv this Friday and Saturday

improv.com/brea/event/ran…

Costco should announce our entrances like we’re at an old timey fancy dinner
“Prrrrsenting! Matt O’Brien the lord of loud pissing”

Nothings more punk rock than putting “seggs” instead of “sex” in the captions of your stand up comedy reel

Netflix is a Joke. UCB Theatre LA May 8. 7PM. Get tickets.
netflixisajokefest.com/shows/made-in-…

sacrificing my body for my art. working on a new wine review coming out soon.

my Costco rotisserie chicken crawled out of its plastic case and is now laying on my rug

people that make videos that are just trends aren’t “content creators” they’re “app users”

me trying to have sex with my wife

check out our podcast IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT for more flawless Will impressions podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/is-…

normalize doing the sign of the cross after eating a Costco sample

the knob came off my bidet controls and for a brief moment I thought I was stuck with water shooting into my ass forever

tickets are selling for my Netflix Is A Joke Fest show MAY 8TH in LOS ANGELES so GET EM QUICK
netflixisajokefest.com/shows/made-in-…

Sometimes I miss having a normal job so I can bring in one single tax slip for my tax return.
now every year I have to spend 3 weeks getting “Uncle Tim’s Chuckle’n’Cum Hut” to give me a slip so I can claim $500 I made while absolutely bombing my pants off infront of 20 people