Austyn_Texas(@TexasAustyn) 's Twitter Profileg
Austyn_Texas

@TexasAustyn

Sometimes I’m funny. (I think) lover of inappropriate jokes & memes, based opinions, satire, cooking 👩🏼‍🍳 gym, sarcasm, wife & mama ❤️ USA 🇺🇸

ID:1299203466301243392

calendar_today28-08-2020 04:34:04

37,2K Tweets

68,8K Followers

1,9K Following

Mike Netter(@nettermike) 's Twitter Profile Photo

When David Browne (Buddy Ebsen) told Andy he should just let Opie 'decide for himself' how he wanted to live… Andy had these words of wisdom.

'No, I'm afraid it don't work that way. You can't let a young’n decide for himself. He'll grab at the first flashy thing with shiny…

When David Browne (Buddy Ebsen) told Andy he should just let Opie 'decide for himself' how he wanted to live… Andy had these words of wisdom. 'No, I'm afraid it don't work that way. You can't let a young’n decide for himself. He'll grab at the first flashy thing with shiny…
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Jonathan Shedler(@JonathanShedler) 's Twitter Profile Photo

For licensed mental health professionals only:

What percent of your professional colleagues would you really trust to treat a loved one or family member (that you care about)?

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Stephanie Winn(@sometherapist) 's Twitter Profile Photo

In my experience as a therapist, most people who drink more than 90% of their peers are convinced that their alcohol consumption is totally normal.

In my experience as a therapist, most people who drink more than 90% of their peers are convinced that their alcohol consumption is totally normal.
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Austyn_Texas(@TexasAustyn) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Realistic week night dinner.

1 grilled chicken breast
1 small sweet potato
1 can of green beans
1 tbsp butter
Everything but the bagel seasoning
Pinch of fresh Thyme

Realistic week night dinner. 1 grilled chicken breast 1 small sweet potato 1 can of green beans 1 tbsp butter Everything but the bagel seasoning Pinch of fresh Thyme
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Jesse Kelly(@JesseKellyDC) 's Twitter Profile Photo

During the Great Depression, roughly 100% of Americans knew a man couldn’t become a woman by chopping off his penis.

That America and this one are as different as night and day.

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Austyn_Texas(@TexasAustyn) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Social media has made people feel more important than what they really are. It’s become a huge detriment to society.

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Austyn_Texas(@TexasAustyn) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Follow my cooking instagram page @ Austyntatious_cooking

But a cook book is in the works!! 😇👩🏼‍🍳

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Rudy W. Giuliani(@RudyGiuliani) 's Twitter Profile Photo

🚨VIDEO: A REAL interview we had at NYU:

QUESTION: 'Why are you protesting?'

PROTESTER #1: 'I don't know. I'm pretty sure there's something about Israel [turns to other person] Why are we protesting?'

PROTESTER #2: 'I wish I was more educated.'

PROTESTER #1: 'I'm not either.'

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Raising Healthy Families(@thriving__kids) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Too many kid's mornings look like this:

-Tired from not enough sleep
-Gets fed breakfast full of sugar
-TV on to occupy kids while parents get ready
-Gets yelled at to 'hurry up or we will be late'

Then parents wonder why their child struggles to focus in school

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