Last night in a bar I paid £1.62 for a packet of crisps 😯

Having said that, I remember when I was a kid, my grandmother saying 'One day, eggs will be a shillin' [5p] each!' Now they're about 30p each.

Off to 212 bar, #Leeds , where it's 80s night. Good job there's no work tomorrow #retired .

I can imagine this Saturday night a lot of lads trying out a new chat-up line:

Allo darlin'! Fancy a bit of sunshine at sunset? 😉

Wishing Sophie Ellis-Bextor a very happy birthday! (Photo from Leeds Pride, August 2013, at Millennium Square, Leeds)

#Leeds #Leeds Pride Sophie Ellis-Bextor @leedspride @MillSqLeeds

Mind you, 'The Swimming Leg' would be a great name for a pub.

The young lady at the checkout asked me if I wanted my receipt today. 'Today'? Whatever happened to 'at all'? 'Would you like your receipt at all?' Teenagers seem to have forgotten how to talk like teenagers.

Fun fact of the day: It's impossible to make a small batch of vegetable soup. No matter how few vegetables you use, you always end up with gallons of soup.

Think I'll wait till the solar eclipse comes to the UK. I'll be 131 years old, so I'd better start taking better care of my health & fitness.

Every Australian gold-prospecting TV programme:

'Well, we found a little bit of gold, but not enough. Then the machinery broke.'

A Network Rail chopper flying over my flat a few minutes ago. If your train gets cancelled, they give you a lift in their helicopter!

Aren't auto-generated subtitles great?

Survivor of The Titanic being interviewed:

[subtitles]: I didn't think a ship that big could stink.

On This Day #OTD . Supercar Sunday at Leeds Dock, April 8th 2012, feat. TV chef James Martin. Leeds Dock @JamesMartinchef #Leeds #Supercar

My (very) late breakfast: poached eggs on buttered, toasted sourdough with smashed avocados (avocados, lime juice, fried garlic & chillis, salt, pepper)

Fabulously tasty brunch at Bridge End Social #Leeds this morning: Eggs Royale. Marvelous!

Wow - busy morning photography-wise. A brunch dish for a restaurant / bar (Eggs Royale, TYFA); studio headshots and three quarter length studio shots for a guy's Instagram profile, and a couple of 'Oymate' photos ('Oy! Mate! Take a photo of us!')

If I ever become the world's oldest living man, I shall put my longevity down to avoiding too much moderation.

Barbara Kingsley, talking about shopping for shoes: 'I saw the ones I liked, but they were SIX POUNDS!'

#TheBrothers Talking Pictures TV

Aaah - harking back to the days when TV presenters knew how to pronounce 'integral'. Marvelous.

My knowledge of 20th century history is very poor, I'm afraid. Wasn't this guy Queen Elizabeth II's grandad?

Thank god it's Wednesday! #retired