In the last 2 years I have earned nearly £2 from my Onlyfans account!

My latest painting

The puddle outside Balham Sainsbury’s looking good this evening

To celebrate my new re election as Mayor of Balham I went with friends tonight to the Balham Bistro Eccentrique where I had starters - boiled slugs, main course - liver in custard, dessert- strawberries in gravy. Chef tells me she’s looking for new dishes. Any ideas?

📣 The great and even greater of British comedy invite you to celebrate with them the life of the legendary Comedy Store Player Andy Smart.

🎟️ Tickets are now on sale for this unforgettable evening of stand-up and improvised comedy: bit.ly/3QooX8o

Arthur Smith Whilst the mayoral polls don't open till 8am tomorrow, the Balham result is announced already... our beloved leader re-elected unopposed. 👏👏👏

On this day 1945 my dad Syd (with pipe) came home after two and a half years as a POW. They were happy he was back

Looking forward to seeing Arthur Smith again at #CheshamFringe festival at the end of May #BankHoliday
Grab tickets here eventbrite.co.uk/e/an-audience-… and for much more check out cheshamfringe.com

Not one, not two, but ladies and gentleman, l give you THREE fine fellows. Completing the hat trick, it’s directed by Kevin Hunter Day so there’s more pedigree than Cruft’s going on here.

Someone has stolen it! I want my cunt tree back!

Thinking of starting a cult. Anyone got any suggestions?

It seems 2 Clapham spies have been discovered in Balham. What should I do with them ?

I had a school friend called Andrew who was a haemophiliac and died from an infected blood transfusion. He wanted to be a poet. Remembering him now 55 years later

Lovely Balham

💸 ALL DONATIONS MATCHED UNTIL EARTH DAY!

🧡 Generous individuals have pledged up to £50,000 in match funding, doubling donations made between now and Earth Day.

⛓️ Back those brave enough to challenge this government, even in the face of repression: chuffed.org/project/just-s… ✊

My new range of anti wrinkle cream now on sale!

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