this woman came to speak at my middle school & gave a 30 min presentation about her experience. then she opened it up for questions & a kid asked “how come you lived in a tree” 🤣

ruining da vibe across America w/ charles gould again in May!

5/12 at The Lincoln Lodge
5/14 at Cactus Club
5/16 at The Comedy Corner Underground
5/19 at PhilaMOCA

🎟️: linktr.ee/danlicatasucks

today is da 20th anniversary of my infamous April fools prank I pulled when I was a HS freshman that got me out of school suspended. i will tell this epic story on Corn Beef tonite

w/ RJ Hoffman Rachel Borat Kaly 🍯 wes haney Rojo Perez

🎟️: eventbrite.com/e/corn-beef-41…

Dream crack pipe rotation

Christopher abbott at da end of Poor Things 🤣

Nah but for real @JimBruer should sue that Greek freak for stealing his intellectual property. and while we are at it, Chris Kattan could make a damn good case that Emma Stone was based off Mr Peepers!!🤬

Pitchfork gone, Vice gone…what next? Another website no ones looked at for 9 years is also gone??🤣

Vice would still be around if they’d greenlit Nightmare Blunt Rotation (each ep I smoke high-grade kush w/ a serial killer, a guy from Slipknot & one of my middle school bullies)

fyi

do yall think this movie will happen in real life?? tryin to get my body count up before then 😭

Debate team tryouts today

everyone in my polycule has a dookie kink!! when we leave da airbnb, it be looking like da cafeteria after a sloppy Joe food fight 🤣

Patrick mahome RANT!!

we are putting in da work because Two Guys Who Ruin the Vibe tour begins TOMORROW at littlefield, with special guest Ms. Grace Kuhlenschmidt

Portland: 2/4 at Mississippi Studios
Seattle: 2/6 at Here-After
LA: 2/7 at The Elysian (w/ Bardia Salimi)

🎟️: linktr.ee/danlicatasucks

rubbing coke on my lips so it feels like someone else is suckin my dick

me & charles gould are all packed for tour!

NYC: 2/1 at littlefield (w/ Ms. Grace Kuhlenschmidt)
Portland: 2/4 at Mississippi Studios
Seattle: 2/6 at Here-After
LA: 2/7 at The Elysian (w/ Bardia Salimi)

🎟️: linktr.ee/danlicatasucks

at my school in addition to fire drills & active shooter drills we do drills in case Bam margera shows up

me & my friend charles gould are comin to NYC, Portland, Seattle & LA to ruin da vibe!!

2/1 at littlefield (w/ Ms. Grace Kuhlenschmidt)
2/4 at Mississippi Studios
2/6 at Here-After
2/7 at The Elysian (w/ Bardia Salimi)

poster by neill

🎟️ticket links below🎟️

'it's a wonderful life'... yeah i would be saying that too if i tried to kill myself, then everyone in town came to my house & gave me money

Playing hooky cuz I stayed up all night drinking Bang/Tito’s, then just now i get this reminder notification 🤦‍♂️

the dad Dan Licata