“Taylor Swift, right, was born on 13th December. Add 13 and 12 together you get 25, yeah? Her new album has 31 tracks, add that on you get 56. Now, ‘Taylor Swift’ has 11 letters so subtract 11 from 56 and you get 45. You know who wore 45 don't you? Mario Balotelli...”

“People are not 3 times sicker than they were a decade ago” says the man whose party has systematically destroyed the NHS over the past decade or so.

If you were going to do a comedy musical about the last fourteen years of Conservative government, what better ending could you hope for than the prime minister giving a big speech out of nowhere, to tell everyone that they’re not really depressed?

At my London Mayor charity gig, I took questions from the wonderful audience. Like this one… #VoteBinface #BindependenceDay

In Mark Menzies story the bit that jars me most is where his member of staff, paid for by the tax payer is called to give their own money & turn up to what appears to be a criminal scene. In any other profession the person would be sacked on the spot for endangering junior staff

Wow. Here’s Robert F. Kennedy Jr’s brother calling on him to drop out.

Brilliant.

So sad to learn of the loss of Samantha Davis. She was a warm & wonderful woman who will be greatly missed.
Sending my condolences & deepest sympathy to Warwick, Annabelle & Harrison. 💔💔💔
#RIP

Very poor from The Labour Party. They may be cruising towards victory, but they shouldn’t take for granted the overwhelming support they currently have from young people. After nearly two decades of misery, young people need some nuggets of hope. This could be one of them.

Who is ready for Owen Jones/@Guardian to be forced into a humiliating retraction over his latest piece? One that exposes how lazy he is as a 'journalist', who is so committed to his own ideological bubble that he has published an egregious error.
theguardian.com/commentisfree/…

Beyond proud to join my wonderful, inspiring friend Sadiq Khan today. 🚀

On Thursday 2 May vote for a fairer, safer, greener London for everyone. 🌹

Latest The Guardian cartoon

theguardian.com/commentisfree/…

“A Tory minister can sleep in ten different women's beds in a week. A Labour minister gets it in the neck if he looks at his neighbour's wife over the garden fence.”

Clement Attlee

No blue or conservative logos anywhere … 🤔

'It's very weird being in a world without him' - Adrian Edmondson ❎ opens up about missing Rik Mayall and remembers the love and joy they shared. #BottomExposed , tonight at 9pm, only on GOLD.

Little helper.. 😅

London. One 30sec snapshot.
Imagine if every UK town and city moved around like this.

White guys in Arizona cheer forcing women in 2024 to abide by laws written and passed by a pedophile in 1864.

Wonderful news. I’m hoping that they define ‘young’ as being‘ below 120 years old’, obviously :-)

politics makes more sense if you assume all Tory MPs are being blackmailed