(Mario & Peach on a double date with Master Chief & Cortana) Peach: Your dress is lovely Cortana Cortana: Thanks Peach, first time wearing it Mario: Yes, its lovely Chief: Cool it Mario thats my wife Cortana: Chief relax, thanks Mario Mario: Sorry Chief: The Arbiter just text me
Don't get paid til Wednesday and I'm skint and I'm thinking about all the Christmas chocolate I left at my mum's thinking what if I brought it with me...
Was swearing I'd go cold turkey tonight for ages but just got home and found a unopened bottle of vape liquid (blueberry sour raspberry bar juice) and I've shed a real tear