I've seen first hand the great work that Kim did as Police and Crime Commissioner for Northumbria and know of the high regard in which she is held by so many organisations and communities across the region. Please get out and vote, and encourage family and friends to do so.

Apparently, the introduction of physical checks on animal and plant imports coming into Britain from the EU is due to Covid and the war in Ukraine.

'So basically, if you can try harder with the walking and cheer up a bit, we can rationalise your benefits. Then Lord Cameron can add swan to his in-flight menu.'

A few days off and 570 emails...

Well, you can’t get a bigger arse than Cameron.

Please don’t send any home made condolence cards to Tony Hart’s family, as they will be unable to return them.

Feeling a little overweight? Would you like to lose half a stone in four days whilst eating absolute crap? Just run 260 miles!

I’m thinking of getting a t-shirt with a picture of Boris Johnson wearing a beret.

Philp is an idiot. It’s quite simple to distinguish the two countries: they don’t drink Um Bongo in Rwanda.

On the other hand, it might just terminate at Royal Oak.

Delirious at checkpoint one, keeping warm in my race hoody. This was way back when it wasn’t raining…

All I need do now is negotiate four trains and the London Underground, carrying a bag that feels like there’s a body inside, whilst barely being able to walk. Should be fine.

However sore my body is after 260 miles in three and a half horrendously muddy days, I cannot complain. Imagine how sore King Charles’ waving hand is going to be, being used after all this time off?

I spent last night sleeping a few hours on the wooden floor of a village hall. The previous night I had 20 minutes on a pile of bricks. I’m beginning to question my life choices.

I’d rather run 500 miles with good underfoot conditions than have to tackle that course again. Horrendous. Of the 29 starters, 5 of us have made it home and 5 are still on the course, having paused when it got too dangerous to continue in the dark. I am now a little sore.

About to attempt 10 marathons in 4 days so signing off for a bit. See you on the other side… Thames Ring 250

If you’re in the hospitality industry and think ‘oh, posh baked beans, guests will like them’. No. No they won’t.

When you ask for an especially quiet room and get one with a noisy neighbour, overlooking a busy road junction and with church bells on the hour every hour…

‘Outstanding achievements’

Tremendous