i’m the world’s most feminist 26 year old teenager

made noodles to bring for lunch today and it’s taunting me in the break room fridge like the damn ring from lord of the rings

why did he put the little “-” between the 12?

sporting the denim shirt today

having 1-2 beers every night is my super power

chinese broccoli lesnar lets go brother 48 more minutes

tap in brother

woah

not now kitten, daddy’s busy listening to this on repeat for 7 hours

not even hungry but i’m so excited to eat dinner tonight i’m literally shaking

fuck you jesse lacey

getting a BHL (Brazilian Heart Lift)

(Going to the gas station after I win the lottery) $100,000 on pump 1 please

the most skinny fat man in this side of the mississippi