Australia’s Girlfriend(@bonsoyflatwhite) 's Twitter Profileg
Australia’s Girlfriend

@bonsoyflatwhite

hot, funny, effervescent and charming

ID:2687221021

linkhttp://instagram.com/bonsoyflatwhite calendar_today28-07-2014 10:25:58

15,2K Tweets

7,0K Followers

1,2K Following

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Australia’s Girlfriend(@bonsoyflatwhite) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Told a man I hate slicing a full loaf of bread to put in the freezer and he said “allow me” and now I have a beautifully sliced sourdough waiting for me

Told a man I hate slicing a full loaf of bread to put in the freezer and he said “allow me” and now I have a beautifully sliced sourdough waiting for me
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Australia’s Girlfriend(@bonsoyflatwhite) 's Twitter Profile Photo

I am not only begging Peter Dutton to stop saying horrific shit because it’s revolting, but also because I can’t handle continuously seeing his face without adequate warning

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Can we all drop our pet insurance recommendations please because this big beautiful bitch can’t get enough of eating non-nutritional substances (elastic bands, ribbon, my couch)

Can we all drop our pet insurance recommendations please because this big beautiful bitch can’t get enough of eating non-nutritional substances (elastic bands, ribbon, my couch)
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It’s truly a blessing Wonka didn’t come out when Glee was around because we definitely would’ve seen Finn serenading Rachel with “noodle, noodle, apple strudel” and Mr Schue belting out “only Wonka’s makes your confidence sky-rocke-let!!!!!” like he was on crack

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To the person who broke into my car and only found my asthma puffer and floss…….. you don’t mess with a wheezy bitch who values gum health!!!

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I’m ready to take matters into my own hands (drive to Australia Post’s Malaga warehouse, let myself in and find my package which was meant to be delivered on December 7)

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I want to do Inception dream sharing with Toulouse so we can frolic through rolling green hills together and drink cat-safe iced lattes through silly straws

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Not to be that little bitch but I can’t take 99% of pills because they could make me have a stroke and out of the two I can take, one makes me bleed constantly and the other costs nearly $100 for a three-month supply, so big fucking whoop for the fellas who get no side effects!!!

Not to be that little bitch but I can’t take 99% of pills because they could make me have a stroke and out of the two I can take, one makes me bleed constantly and the other costs nearly $100 for a three-month supply, so big fucking whoop for the fellas who get no side effects!!!
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