im like this when I have to talk to people

ozempic helped cure her cheese addiction.... is there anything it can't do?

Hellman's should replace their regular mayo with vegan mayo and not tell anyone

y'all are missing out

kimchi pizza goes hard

I didn't know squirrels could nest

no wait i fixed it:
hard eggs create strong men
strong men create soft potatoes
soft potatoes create weak men
weak men create hard eggs!

I hear bagpipes and am tempted to follow the sound

Cooper® Sharp Enjoyer Oh no, what will we do without a heckler's veto over Empty Lot? I grew up with Empty Lot, it was a Beloved Community Space. Now they want to change it to disgusting housing for freakish New People? They won't know that it used to be Empty Lot!!!

and when the world needed her most... she returned from twitter jail

thanks McKinsey, allyship in the most McKinsey way

they gave me maintainer status on the important git repos which is basically like giving me the nuclear codes(a bad idea)

'omg why would I take the bus it is so much slower than driving'

um just leave earlier? sit back and let your personal chariot whisk you to your destination