I said no! 💍💕

please look after your laptops in this heat 🙏 if the fan starts whirring it means they're in distress - soak it in a basin of cold water for 30 mins, then place in fridge

my dad who “didn’t want a cat” showing Lucas every item of the weekly shop because “he wants to see what we’ve got”

me walking from somewhere I don’t want to be to somewhere I don’t want to go

babe are you okay? you've barely worn your Elizabeth Line trainers

brb going to laugh at my grandad’s grave

Tea:
- calming
- many flavours
- the answer to all problems

Coffee:
- Anxiety Juice™
- 3 heartbeats for the price of 1
- more than 4 cups and you can talk to electricity

monk: just a normal R please

scribe:

🎶💚

oh lawd he comin

if you’re feeling stressed, remember to IN EX HAHA LE LE

🚨NEW SHORT SET NOW STREAMING:

✨ruby 🐊 live at Backyard Comedy Club✨

Watch HERE: watch.nextupcomedy.com/videos/rubykea…

them: it’s not that complicated

me: okay

my brain:

did anyone else’s 5th vaccine make their tentacles itchy ?

if you’re feeling sad just remember this vast medieval cat

when you’re locked in a passive aggressive email thread waiting to see who’ll drop the “kind” from “kind regards” first

no one:

the compass in my old pencil case: