Morning everyone

The local rock group down the street
Is trying hard to learn this song
They serenade the weekend squire
Who just came out to mow his lawn
🍻🚬

Morning everyone

It's a feeling that's fine
And I just gotta say, hey!
She's really got a magical spell
And it's working so well
That I can't get away🍻🚬

I phoned the Samaritans and they said I was number 23 in the queue. So I reached out to a complete stranger who thought they’d got through to Waitrose and wanted to complain about a distinct lack of mung bean salad. Made my problems seem insignificant Dud🍻🚬

Always makes me smile

Was that the trees a-rustling? Or the hinges of the gate?
Or Ernie's ghostly gold tops a-rattling in their crate🍻🚬

Thanks for all the kind messages of support. I was overcome with emulsion❤️🍻🚬

Morning everyone

To me this old world is a wonderful place
I'm just about the luckiest human in the whole human race
I've got no silver and I've got no gold
🍻🚬

Trying to get rid of the ear worm I’ve given myself all day🍻🚬

If the real Elon Musk followed me on here I wouldn’t follow back because I’m already followed by at least 30 of the fuckers🤦‍♂️🍻🚬

I see some right bollocks on here, and goodness me I’m responsible for some of it. But I scroll on by stuff I don’t agree with. Freedom of speech shouldn’t be a one sided debate ffs🍻🚬

I've just walked past the HMRC building at clearly what is clocking off time, half past 3!
Obviously, there is no dress code. These people drag themselves into the office one day per fortnight and still can't be bothered to stick on a proper pair of strides or shirt.

Morning everyone

Yes, I get a little lonely when the sun gets low
And I end up looking for somewhere to go
Yes, I should know better but I can't say no🍻🚬

Love is : - Letting the daughter sleep in my clean bed tonight whilst I get to sleep in her unmade bed, sans duvet cover, sheet and pillow cases🤦‍♂️🍻🚬

Tonight’s game sponsored by the government 🍻🚬

Poor Andrew Neil, building a career out of being a flinty, rigorous journalist. And when the biggest story of his lifetime came along he wet his pants for two years and swallowed the Government narrative and complained about the quality of the private jet GB News supplied him.

Huzzah. He has been

Morning everyone

Thunder in the air and the skies turned grey
Assembling the knights and their swords were sharp
There was hope in our English hearts
🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🍻🚬

I hope everyone is having a pleasant 'He wasn't even English' day eve.

Still alive. Happy birthday dear boy👏🏻🍻🚬