They trapped Pete Buttigieg in a PS1 game and he's broken free. Tortured by the humanity he can never regain, he is now roaming the streets, lashing out at a society he can never reenter.

god i hate scouting so much

Breaking my X hiatus yet again, this time to welcome Tim Marchman to WIRED where he is our new director of science, politics & security. An incredible journalist and our kind of nerd! To say I am excited about this is an UNDERSTATEMENT!

(over a single, sad trumpet playing) jeem…

Kwesi made his name with this draft. Couldn’t be happier with the job he and the Vikings did.

That’s the tweet.

BREAKING: The MLB uniform fiasco of this spring is finally being addressed, according to an MLBPA memo obtained by ESPN:

'Nike was innovating something that didn’t need to be innovated.”

Details of the coming changes, timing free and unlocked at ESPN: espn.com/mlb/story/_/id…

'For no reason in particular, I realized the following: anything that is no larger than the space between your thumb and index finger when put tip-to-tip (the 'OK' sign) can fit in both your mouth and your asshole.' defector.com/help-my-son-wo…

Cool story here on Vikings draft pick Levi Drake Rodriguez. He’s a fun addition to their DT room

you shouldn’t be allowed to use super bowl commercials outside of the super bowl

Jordan travis is going to get so many interesting injury recovery tips

“You can’t double-tap your puppy in a gravel pit anymore, due to Wokeness. For more like this, buy my book”

this is several months old but it is absolutely essential that I share it with you

'Here is something that I’ve long known but never had the courage to admit: The worst sports fans I know are also the happiest.' defector.com/i-am-ready-to-…

Imagine being so racist that you convince yourself that the ineptitude of the ATLANTA FUCKIN FALCONS was something that didn't exist before black people got in leadership positions there.

Also looking to trade up? Your girlfriend.