So...the Pope's statement that people's homes are more full of objects than children. YOUR CATHEDRALS ARE MORE FULL OF PAEDOS THAN OBJECTS.

The busy world of RFK Jr. #BrainWorms

Hon hon, Monsieur Macron, with zis proposal of yours you are surely spoiling us?

*Sips champagne, adjusts negligee*

I am very on edge today, and not in a good way. No idea why. Branes.

HAIL THE GREAT BEAST, DEVOURER OF WORLDS

Hm

“You're NOT supposed to be in here😠😂

Nothing is more disgusting to me morally than having to work in an office on a warm sunny day. What kind of life is this

GIVE ME THE BABY

I don't mind the equalities and the fraternities, but I'm NOT having the liberties. Happy birthday, Joanie.

On radio 4 now, PPE graduate, banker, and failed psychiatrist Michael Mosley asks whether cooking from scratch can help us lose weight and be healthier. LET ME GUESS HIS ANSWER, THE EXPLOITATIVE LITTLE FRAUD.

Look if you reverse that iPad advert and put the fugue from the end of Britten's Young Person's Guide to the Orchestra over it, it becomes less of a horrific corporate nightmare.

TWIST #TheArchers

Oh fuck off Harrison #TheArchers

I hate the Fallon storyline. I hate it. #TheArchers

Fantastic cereal chat. #TheArchers

I'm still not over Rita Ora's Met gala wrinkled, badly matched body stocking. Or the open toe sandals. Shudder.

Listening to Behind The Crime on Radio4. Nobody speaks more eloquently or with more self-awareness than old lags who find a purpose in life after prison. There should be a House of Lags parliamentary chamber.

With Labour MPs like this, who needs the Tories #NatalieElphicke

A bold move for a paper that advocates single sex spaces to muscle in on the Garrick Club just so the editor can join.