May The 4th is just another day.

The nightmare of the dog chasing flies around the house has started.

Why does it take two days to find out who was voted London mayor?

Let's see what percentage of London are Masochists.

I wonder if the Olympics still happen in France now? It's obviously not safe.

I hear hundreds of Afghan migrants are rioting in Paris and setting fires. Are the MSM covering this?

If you want real change in this country, don't vote Tory or Labour. Vote for a new party. What people do by only voting for these two and hoping things will change is really insanity. An insanity brainwashed into you. Break the cycle.

What a boring world it would be if farts didn't smell.

The worst thing about the coming of summer. Fnn flies.

I hear OJ Simpson has died. Jokes coming later.

It's been pissing down for days, and I bet we will still need hose pipe bans in the summer.

I think the north should get all their excavating machines a dig a large trench from the right to the left of this country. Just above Manchester. Let sea divide us.

I will vote for the party that will ban barbeques from this country.

Did you know that blue is not considered a colour? What you think is blue is not. So David carradine didn't turn blue.

Do you think we would have less men addicted to morphine if they weren't brainwashed by the Power Rangers when kids?

Should we get blowjobs on the National Health?

I think most of the population is insane. You would have to be to vote for the same two parties generation after generation, hoping they will fix the problems this time. It's brain washing. I think people need to vote for anyone except the major two. Vote for someone new.

Scotland is gonna have to become a big prison. Everyone has offended someone. Just think if the Irish had these hate crime laws. I don't think there's an Englishman alive who hasn't said in Irish joke in their time. Or if the Welsh has them, everyone would be arrested, baa non.

Crime will rise in Scotland now. Crimes will no longer be investigated unless it's the crime of hurting someone's feelings or the thought of hurting someone's feelings. The backlog is gonna be immense. Baseball bats will become a best seller.

Scotland has only one hope to make these idiotic laws work. That is to ban the internet and all outside information and TV signals from outside Scotland.