I’m not saying I’m jealous of my toddler, but it sure would be nice if people made a big deal when *I* poop on the potty.

Before I had kids: I won’t lie to my children. After I had kids: Sorry love, we can’t go. The park is closed today.

Decided to take a quick family vacation, or as I’ve come to call it, Parenting in a Different (and Usually More Dangerous) Location.

You should probably marry a teacher. My wife just bought us two cans of Pringles because she “needs the cans for math games”.

Last night my 2yo woke up from 2:30-3:30 AM, and when I finally got her back down, she said “I love you daddy” unprompted to me for the very first time. And honestly? One of the best moments in my life, hands-down.

How old do your kids have to be before mornings aren't an stress-filled mad dash to get out the door on time? Is it 35? It feels like it would be 35.

“CHEERS!” my toddler cries as she jams her fork into the side of the salad bowl. So close, kid. So close.

Today my 2yo was sitting on the bean bag chair in our living room and staring intently at her little play laptop. I asked her to come into the kitchen for something and she looks up at me and says "Daddy, I WORKING."

I've cracked the code. Today we had lots of time, had a proper breakfast, didn't feel rushed and even got out a little bit early. Apparently the trick is for both of your children to wake up at 5AM. 🫠

ICYMI Anna Odo, Mathios Arkangelo’s mother wrote a reply to Edmonton Police Association’s president Curtis Hoople regarding the absolutely absurd letter he sent to Amarjeet Sohi YEG_PoliceCommission

Okay, I’m starting to worry that sexual predator and convicted felon who thinks that babies are aborted after birth and wind turbines kill whales might not actually make a very good president.

If you’re wondering why it felt like Trump was fact-checked more, it’s actually the result of a complex psychological phenomenon known a—nah I’m totally kidding it’s because he lies more.

After many, many hours of work, I’ve finally finished our backyard patio. So if you have a voice in your head telling you that you can’t do the same, I’m here to tell you that you should absolutely listen to that voice because landscaping sucks and I’m going to be sore forever.

My two-year olds barely napped today and I spent the afternoon worried they were going to be miserable as the evening went along but they made it to bedtime perfectly fine and honestly it’s like they didn’t even need the sleep that they missed and…oh no. OH NO.

Way too many people to reply to here, but thanks all. I’d be remiss if I didn’t point out that the only reason I was able to do this is because my wife took on basically all of the childcare and house stuff while I worked. Shout out to all the people doing the invisible labour.

I'm shocked at how many of you believe the news that Rebel News publishes pro-Russian propaganda from the Kremlin. The Rebel is one of the most trustworthy news sources in this country and Эзра Левант — мошенник. Иисус, перестань давать ему свои деньги. Пожалуйста, будь умнее.

The modern web is a hellhole.

People say it’s hard to maintain the passion after being together for years, but my wife just asked if I wanted to share her a cup of cleaning solution for my mouthguard, so clearly it’s possible.