Excited and humbled to announce I'll be directing the live-action movie based on whatever you call this kind of cup from the 90s

BREAKING: Jury finds cancer not guilty

Absolutely devastated for Eric and Don Jr. to see this

beyond it being psychotic to paparazzi a 94 year old minding his own business, they’re dinging him for wearing an outfit from weeks earlier, which is the normal way to wear clothes

Dropped $150,000 on a truck to haul 8 bags of topsoil. Thank you, sir.

This would be the funniest way to reveal Kate Middleton back to the world

Remember when Al Gore tried to save us from mass extinction while we still could, and we were like, “But could I have a beer with him??”

I hate that this election is going to be decided by some A.I. video in October and there’s nothing we can do about it

MountCock+

This is all going to get worse before it gets even worse

I’m no political analyst, but I feel like if a judge had ordered Biden to pay $83 million to a woman he raped last week, we’d still be talking about it

Deleting movies for a tax write-off is just making taxpayers shoulder the cost for content they’re not even allowed to see

the first 10 minutes of going to anyone’s place in LA is them trying to calm down their dog while telling you this never happens

She did it. She got Fox News to care about carbon emissions

damn that’s crazy i wonder if they went through any germ-based mass trauma that defined their formative years

BREAKING: Carol & the End of the World is delightful

knowing what’s happening is probably the worst thing you could do for your mental health

Anytime you’re wondering why the next 40 years are sucking, remember a former game show host who committed 91 felonies in office appointed one third of the Supreme Court

president is who can carry most pizza box

Happy anniversary to the last time a Republican actually took a stand