I want to physically assault this person. I’ll do the time, not arsed. There will be crowds of people releasing doves on the day my sentence is up.

This was my first job after moving over to Australia. I had to do this in 40°c with big Samoan and Māori lads trying to lift the other end of a wardrobe with them, my 5’7 Skinny Scouse Arse was melting. youtu.be/Tc4ktXpiSwo?si…

In England, they have a football club called Everton that is a social experiment run by the government to see how much pain and misery one fanbase can endure before they die

Today I saw a one year old as she watched a dog use a door flap for the first time. Her head fell right off it was one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. Poor girl doesn’t even have object permanence yet. She turned round to her mum like “did you just fuckin see tha?!”

If it’s a bit, it’s not half a good one

i haven't looked at quora in many years because it's unhinged, but i never unsubscribed from the emails and i get stuff like this in my inbox every day

So… post 9/11?

Last day on holiday. Naughty rig. Life’s good.

Just seen someone say down in the airport, reading her own passport like a novel. My head’s fell off she looked proper interested.

They must know… surely?

Me bird has just ended up fuming cos she can’t do the Lego set I bought her so she’s gone to smoke a bong hahahahahaha

Joshua v Dubois link anyone? Full fight video link?

The Nowies scene is such a ki because why was the girlies off psychedelic anchovies this weekend? 😂

happy international phoebe bridgers day to those who celebrate

Trump on Springfield

Mad ting

Couldn’t enjoy that game at all. Soon as I sat down I remembered the cans I put in the freezer hours ago.

So we’re all gonna just pretend battery acid didn’t exist..?

I reckon it was a frog