This is what some of our elected officials actually believe to be true and why we’re all doomed.

Casinos have strict rules against guests roaming around pooping in the faces of other guests. Yet, cigars.

First rule of video poker. The moment you reduce the denomination from $2 or $5 to 25 cents, you’ll hit something good. Because it’s all about the experience! Ellis Island Casino

This has flown under the radar, but owner of Ellis Island has patented tech for casino credit (called Moolah at Ellis Island). It’s already in use for slots, next is in-app credit for sports betting. Big casino companies and small are champing at the bit to license and white…

Margaritaville closing date remains a bit of a mystery. Staff is telling guests May 15, but they’re trying to push it to the end of May. (h/t James)

Horseshoe high limit renovation update. (h/t James)

New felt Ellis Island Casino caught our eye.

We find your lack of effusive praise of our omniscience (and modesty) disturbing. costar.com/article/508108…

Shout-out to Circa Las Vegas where 25-cent denom video poker progressives are capped at $1,199 to help stick it to The Man.

ICYMI: Paris is getting balconies, and Caesars Entertainment is about to get a windfall. Just ignore the 'fall' part, it's awkward. casino.org/vitalvegas/new…

While most million dollar-plus jackpot winners tip nothing, we are relieved to hear this player tipped $700. Faith in humanity restored.

Today's reminder age is just a number. Sometimes, the number has three digits. Through May Bakkt Theater.

Correction: $1,176,879.71.

ICYMI: The Life is Beautiful festival is moving to Plaza Hotel Casino, probably. casino.org/vitalvegas/pla…

Trying to decide which we love more, this guy or hummingbirds.

Told a player The Mirage hit a jackpot for $1,176,880. In technical jargon, a metric shit-ton.

The FTC has a conflict of interest because officials of the FTC personally witnessed the issues being investigated. This is why the Onion isn’t relevant anymore, reality is funnier than satire.

New steakhouse headed for a weird spot near the Strat. maedalys.com

Everybody wants to be 'Absinthe,' but it's harder than it looks. Sahara is the rumored venue. Good luck with that.