If bugs could blink... Tony Baker

See Tony tonight at 8pm in The Main Room with AMIR K Laura Kightlinger Jesus Trejo Danny Jolles fielding edlow +more! Get tickets at improv.com/hollywood #hollywoodimprov #comedy

Man. Im 3 episodes into “The Gentlemen” on Netflix. I CANNOT STAND THIS 🥷 FREDWARD!!!!! *Brithish accent*. He is a fuckin screwup Bruv!!!

If you’re an adult with small feet, male, female or in between and your size is always available and your price is lower……….. “Alexa, play “I Hate U” by SZA”

Im performing in #SanFrancisco tomorrow and Saturday. Cobb’s Comedy Club. Get yo tickets.

cobbscomedy.com//Search?q=Tony…

Man i HATE IT when i waste an unreciprocated greeting on a stranger. I be wantin to take my gotdamn “hello” back. JERK! Its like when i send people tender & soft texts and get nothin back. But at least with the texts, i can fuss. I ‘ll never see that punk ass stranger again.

I like to ruffle the feathers of the intolerant birds.

The New Godzilla movie is FIRE.

Stop puttin on age on people bein vocal about things they don’t like. I have been sayin “i don’t like this” since 1980. 😂😂😂. My momma can vouch.

Nasa be sleepin. superfunnycomedyclub.com/events/81511

1993.

I just got home and the combination of the noise of my keys, me puttin my bags down (backpack & man purse) and the sounds of my Adidas slides clacking on the floor. I felt like a strong independent black woman. 😂😂

I be feelin horrible when i see a celebrity has passed away……..but i thought they was already gone. 😩. Im sorry.

I ‘m A Start Price Matchin On The Energy Tip.

Talkin about racism in this country doesn’t “create division”, this country was created on division. Don’t be slow.

When i talk to people and they’re wearin shades, i got no choice but to look at their teeth the whole time. Since i can’t connect to your soul windows, i gotta focus on your grill piece. I hope it’s in order.

Yal be readin my tweets when i be tweetin?

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Im Rip Me Out The Plastic I Been Actin Brand New’d Out!!! Gotdamn.

“How Many Drinks?” By Miguel is a thirsty ass track. No pun intended.

Hey Hey Hey. Partnering with Spectrum is a GOOD TIME.