Someone else's agenda: With all those illegal aliens coming across the border, the government will be making you take care of them.
My agenda: As long as I'm fairly compensated, I happy to help.

There's always an inconvenient health crisis before a cruise.

I like to pass these out as thank you gifts.

We ask for medical records and either it’s no response, or they’ve brought down a forest.

The angst when you place a left bundle pacemaker on a Saturday, and the on-call rep is actively studying his how-to notes during the case.

On particularly sad days, the Theme from ‘Midnight Cowboy’ plays on the soundtrack in my mind.

The heart is a chemical battery, and does not tolerate acidosis and hyperkalemia.

Medical jargon I hate:
'We want you guys on board.'

No, you want me to fix the patient. I'm driving the train. I'm not riding it.

President Kennedy was a voracious reader, often reading a book a day. Here are his 10 favorite. I've read one of them.

Bicuspid aortic valve

In one year, I’ve probably seen every medical condition that ever existed, its diagnosis, and treatment. i’m just not smart enough to remember it all.

This is what happens when you eat too much Flecainide. This person has a pacemaker.

My wife is convinced that by some Darwinian selection, only tall people go to live music venues because short people can’t see the band. My wife is a respectable 5’6” and couldn’t watch the band.

What I saw last night: Hurray for the Riff Raff.

There are two kinds of patients: one that quietly doesn’t take the prescribe dmedicine; and the other who will wrestle the physician into a submission hold until he agrees that the prescription was a big mistake, and the problem can actually be solved by a lifestyle change.

Missed the launch out of Vandenberg. But caught the funny-looking clouds, and a tiny sonic boom from high up.

A patient confided to me that she always thought of her doctors as superhuman (who never got sick). That was after I confided to her that I had a really intense headache and I needed to cut short the visit.

I love asking little old ladies with the straightest face whether they smoke crack cocaine, just to see their response. It's one of the few moments of joy in this job that keeps me going.