So healthy. Worship me.

I accidentally clicked on a Matt Rife link and now my social media algo thinks I’m a virgin.

Finally found a beer that I love

Me buying a coffee mug 20 years ago: “lol, that’s funny, I’m bringing that to the office!

Me buying a coffee mug now: “hrm, 24 ounce capacity… that’s 2 trips for a full pot… at least 40 steps… should be okay”.

My kiddo is feeling really sick. It really would make him feel better if you replied to this tweet with your SSN, or CC#.

My neighbors (who are awesome) had a small bonfire last night. This pic makes it look like a blazing inferno.

Every now and then, a thought gets out that probably shouldn’t have. Thats part of my allure.

Hollywood needs to make a movie about a professional arm wrestler who goes around giving murderous hand jobs to bad people. Rip and tear.

Unique opportunity to ask great questions

Some darts good. Some darts funny, not so good.

7.4b into 1.7T = 0.43529% (That's the percentage of overall debt being forgiven)
277k into 43m = 0.64419% (That's the percentage of loans/humans being forgiven)

If you're FURIOUS about the %'s there, you should be FUCKING FURIOUS over loan interest rates.

Join me Tarah M. Wheeler Red Queen Dynamics tomorrow! 🦄🦄

hehehehe

I just took a navy seal breathing test and it turns out I’m not very tactical with my mouth.

In my natural element

Day 80. No booze and strict diet. AMA

It’s either Jesus, or a BeeGee.

Pretty sure you’re jealous at my level of cozy.

I lost power 1 minute after I started the coffee maker.

“No, you cannot wear a Slayer shirt to our spring, family photoshoot” - My wife.