Beast you say?

I wonder if Melanie First Lady Melania Trump requires any assistance with the festive erection in her Portico

I might have known the biggest bellend in London would soon pipe up 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

Well a decent Agent might be a help eh?!

I do love a small sandwich!

Why don’t you just ask your whife Ray Purchase, Actor ™ ?

Ray Bloody Purchase 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

Ray Fucking Purchase lying as usual... He’d do well to keep his nose out of it!!!! 👃🏻🔪🩸🩸🩸🩸

Anyone lighting up a festive Blue Spruce this weekend?

Am I still allowed to bubble Mrs P when London Town enters Tear Three tomorrow?

Fizzzzzzzzzzzzz!

Thinking about the Christmas stuffing Yeeeees!

Feeling all seasonal and my chestnuts are roasting nicely Anyone fancy some fizzzzzzz?

Yes I can hear you! #Toast has hit the big time in Tinseltown – and he’s made the leap to Auntie: bbc.in/3qbgNkK

YEEEES!!!!!!!

Do you hear that Ray Purchase, Actor ™ ? Ha Haaaaaaaa!

I think Ray Purchase, Actor ™ is stuck back in the UKaaaay Last I heard he was working for Damart UK

Looks wonderful eh Jane Plough ?

Some of you may (or may not!) know that I have been tweeting as Steven Toast since 2014. Sadly I won’t be any more and this letter explains why.