Right lads. Many bags packed, flag hoisted and plate polished... we ride... for a week of rain!

I say 'we' as I'm going with a mate for the first few days, so don't expect the full Brubanter gibberish just yet. Still, I'll be solo later unless I get bored of the rain and go home

'I could tell by your footwear you would have nothing interesting to say'
Robert Peston is 64 years old.

A Lucy sandwich in my likes.

Rishi Sunak is in Ilkeston this morning. This is clearly not a coincidence. 👀

Sartorial Thug 🍸 derek guy Should have had Ms Mordaunt holding it wearing a thin blouse soaked to the skin.
Would have gained him a few dozen seats.

Uncomfortable

Keep working everyone. Tax drones are needed to fund the plethora of compensation claims caused by sinister and nauseating cover-ups. What will it take for these odious bastards to face some real consequences?

It's all well and good sweeping away the cackers from the premier league but to replace them with the likes of Leicester and Ipswich just feels wrong. Hopefully Leeds will win the play-off final to ensure at least one proper club comes up.

I didn't realise how many orchestra conducting experts there were on here.

After the horror of having to do some emergency vacuuming, I went for a stroll and some pints.

I've just had to do some emergency vacuuming (the maid is unavailable). An unacceptably tedious activity. I have no idea why women love it so much.

Get yourself to Bubbles Spa if you want your 'energy healing'. You can have a 4 handed energy healing, including a jacuzzi bath, for about the cost of 2 dozen Cumbrae oysters from Wilton's... Apparently

My scribble mirrored

I can honestly say, every sex scene in Soapy Titwank Scullery Maids was necessary. If fact, the whole thing wouldn't be the same without them.