This is not goofy. A goof will:
-smear chocolate brownie in the napkin and pretend to wipe her bum
-pour ketchup into a tissue, blow her nose and pretend it’s a medical crisis
-pepper conversations with ‘asphinctersayswhat?’ so that you say ‘what?’

My culture is not a costume.

First they came for Tzatziki, and I did not speak out

He sings just like Woody Allen!

Horse ate peeking through the W

And yet when I swallow a beach towel I get nothing but insults.

Bottom right has ambition and I like that in a bat.

This is always worth the wait.

Also seduced Jackie Collins when she was 15.

It was shot on location, on the Planet of the Apes. How did they even get there? Wait. Oh my god. OH MY GOD

I have 10,000 of these cooked and ready to serve.

Yes I’m grieving that I’ve finished all eps of the fucking glorious #girls5eva and I ALSO just realised that when Sara Bareilles saw Richard Kind she said ‘Bing Bong!’ and Paula Pell voiced Riley’s dream director in Inside Out. I’m fun.

Holy moly Girls5Eva is so fucking hilarious. I just accidentally inhaled all 3 seasons in one week. Someone please make more pleeeeeeaaaasssse

This looks like Joe Biden, Barack Obama Bill Clinton, Will Arnett and Sean Hayes are celebrating Jason Bateman’s release from a foreign prison.

I love that Chi has responded to this nasty bullying schoolyard bitch shit by just being her talented hilarious self ❤️

In true form, my Nanna’s given us one last laugh…as my Dad’s been sorting her funeral he found her Mum’s birth certificate and therefore discovered the name of HER Nanna.

Excuse me while I get up off the floor to catch my breath

Nature is so gross

I dream of being fucked up by this kind of wealth

There was more outrage when Diane Abbott drank a can of Mojito on a train than an incredibly rich Tory-loving man saying 'she should be shot' and 'she makes him hate all Black women'

I’ve attended quite a few 50ths that end up looking like this.