this time of year people are entering their first year of college. if i could give you one piece of advice, it’d be this: drop out. you can probably get a partial tuition refund and you can still do all the fun party stuff. just lie on resumes and say you graduated, nobody checks

cashier: do u want the receipt emailed to u?

me: i don't even care if i die

ezra miller doing promo for the flash

Ben Affleck said

conservatives: 'we want to murder all people with pronouns in their bio'

liberals: *snort* ' 'we' is a pronoun'

some days I regret feeling like I was too cool for pop in high school but then I remember what pop was like when I was in high school

I have never needed a shirt more

He's such a piece of shit, worst fucking guy

When the Videogamedunkey face reveal dropped:

the fbi is not GOOD. it cannot do GOOD THINGS. it can however do FUNNY THINGS. this is an important distinction.

my horny ass couldn’t handle spending the rest of my life with the woman i love

me when someone i know comes out as gay: this is devastating to the representation of straight boys who act kind of fruity

Gambling raises 15 times more testosterone than lifting weights

Sorry I liked and unliked your tweet I realized it was inconsistent with my values

RIP to everyone killed by the gods for their hubris but I'm different. and better. maybe even better than the gods

The virgin post nut clarity vs the chad post nut falling asleep

if you weren't there, you wouldn't get it

Not releasing near-finished movies bc it makes you more money to just do a tax write-off feels like the logical endpoint of the streaming boom