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Great good luck! x.com/jasonread12/st…

The opening sentence of my memoir called ‘Once A Saint’ (available from amazon and all good bookshops) reads: ‘When I was fifteen years old my father decided it was high time I had sex with somebody other than myself’ Now surely you want to know what happened next?

Good luck!

To all you lovely people (some of whom I know but many whom I don’t) many thanks for your kind wishes on my birthday and if I knew the dates when yours fall I’d wish you all the same.

A very happy new year to everybody except the orange buffoon.

“I love the story about myself it made me absolutely hoot!” The Queen. (This quote isn’t entirely accurate or even true)

Three Hereford Films flicks you will love FREE on Amazon Prime britain-today.co.uk/2019/04/08/thr… via Britain Today

My autobiography Once A Saint comes out in paperback soon so those of you who were too financially challenged to buy the hardback will have no excuse and anyway it’s also available as an electric book echocardiogram is even cheaper I’m told.

How did ‘echocardiogram’ get in there?

Experimenting with this tweetie business - this is me somewhere in Buckinghamshire which is in the UK - well obviously, look at that house it’s really old.

Here’s Orson clapping.

Out in the parking lot my friend Ernie invited me to admire his new Tesla which goes a million miles an hour on two AA batteries or something and I said oh wow that is the coolest car I’ve ever seen and Ernie said you’re looking at the wrong car Ian that’s a Corvette.

Had my hair cut and lost eight pounds. Who knew the stuff was so heavy? Oh weight - I had my big shoes on. Never mind.

Ordered a steam inhaler for this vile cough. If that doesn’t do the trick I shall throw myself to the lions.

Steam inhaler in fetching shades of cream and lavender arrived and while it’s a perfectly pleasant machine it doesn’t seem to be doing the trick in fact I think I’m getting slightly worse.