I skipped a huge party I was looking forward to for a month to stay home and write for my new show.

Not looking for a trophy, just making a reminder to myself for when it’s fucking awesome. You made the right choice.

There’s a pattern here. They’re ruining the photos of celebs who aren’t white. 🤨

Unpopular opinion: immigration ruined everything everywhere the last ten years.

Haha awesome!! I didn’t participate in closest to pin… I think I won! Haha

Thanks for being on the team all these years!

Watching Nicki Minaj have her bags taken away from her, out of her sight, then suddenly they say they are arresting her for drugs is WILD.

Thank GOD she kept filming and went live… smart af to do that.
Weed is legal in Amsterdam… how they gonna arrest her for allegedly

To have a third candidate on the debate stage suggests that maybe there is another way to look at things besides us versus them. It suggests the possibility of transcending polarized views and hateful divisions. Some experts today question how much impact debates have when

Anyone who wears red lens glasses makes that entire personality because they don’t have one.

Men: if you are losing your hair… like obviously losing it. SHAVE YOUR HEAD.

It makes you 100% hotter.
Add a beard for bonus points, 💁🏼‍♀️

He indeed unfollowed me. 🫡

Forget Drake and Kendrick, I wanna see a Nickelback VS Creed battle.

I wanna know what Morgan Freeman sounded like as a kid.
Imagine being a kid with a kid voice and then one day BOOM, Morgan Freeman voice!

If Robert F. Kennedy Jr isn’t in the debates, we no longer have a democracy.
The game is up.

I’m not a relationship expert but have you tried taking her for tacos? 🌮

When someone Googles you, your last tweet shows up.
Hi! 🫶🏻

Pfizer hasn’t cured a single disease in the history of their company.

At what point to we admit healthy people isn’t their goal?

Why won’t President Biden give Robert F. Kennedy Jr security yet?

Fuck you LOVE

Real talk, I hated Big Bang Theory. I hated it so much that when I was asked to audition years and years ago I said no because I thought it wasn’t funny at all.

Young Sheldon, is HILARIOUS.
If you haven’t seen it, watch it.

This is gonna be incredible. 🫥🫡🔥

If you order standing up, no tipping.

Let’s make this the rule across the board, unless it’s a bar.