Have a read!

Why was the climate protester covered in pine needles?

They were a Christmas tree hugger.

#GoldCrackers

What did Phillip Schofield do after he pulled a cracker?

Issued a public apology

#GoldCrackers

Why was the 'This Morning' set drab at Christmas?

Phil and Holly had lost their chemis-tree.

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What do climate protesters have for Christmas dinner dessert?

A block ice

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Why does Gareth Southgate eat Christmas dinner with his hands?

He can't pick up silverware

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What do you get if you cross global warming and the festive season?

A white hot Christmas

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What's worse than a lump of coal for a Tory?

An election box

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Who gets Mars , Milky Way and Galaxy in their selection box?

James Webb

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What flies through the clouds on Christmas Eve?

Santa vaping

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What do you call a fake Christmas tree that decorates itself?

Artificial intelligence

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Why did Santa's sleigh crash?

It was tin-self driving

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What's red and keeping children awake on Christmas Eve?

Bedbugs

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Why didn't Santa like burning hot coals in the chimney?

It created a climb it emergency.

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Why did the snowman buy an igloo?

There was a freeze on interest rates.

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Who's looking for a Christmas temp job?

Holly will-o-be

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Where's the most inclusive place at Christmas?

Bethle-them

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What do you get if you cross HS2 with a box of Christmas cards?

Stationary stationery

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Why doesn't Santa like the HS2?

There's no sleepers.

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Why do people put vape pens in Christmas crackers?

For the gags

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